Living Amidst an “Anger Incubator”: 7 Tips For Regulating Feelings During Uncertain Times
Politics, protests, and a deadly virus that has swept across the globe. These are the realities that we now face each day.
Each one would be a difficult challenge on their own. However, combined they create the perfect anger incubator. It’s impossible to ignore the tension and the anger we all seem to be swirling in.
At the core of that anger is something very important to keep in mind: power.
People everywhere are demonstrating and fighting to feel more power and control in their lives. In politics, people either are trying to get power or hold onto it. And COVID-19 has made so many of us feel powerless.
What can you do when emotions run high? Consider these seven tips for regulating your feelings during uncertain times.
1. Stay Positive
First, when it comes to regulating feelings, having a positive mindset can really help. A more positive approach when going through our day to day can lead to feeling more positive overall. When we feel more positive we are able to be more productive, essentially creating more action. Don’t confuse “positive” with “naïve,” we can use positivity to help create a more optimal environment and create results.
Remember, staying positive involves being aware of the negative things, but not hyper-focusing on them. Instead, we choose to direct our attention to what brings joy and happiness (our partner, family, a hobby, etc.). It’s those qualities that can help when living in what feels like an “anger incubator”.
2. Exercise When You Can
Exercise is a very important and useful tool for managing anger. It also allows you to focus your attention as you work out. In essence, you stay more focused on what you are doing than what makes you angry. Plus, exercise releases endorphins and other chemicals in your brain that can help you feel less angry—and even pleasure.
If you keep up with this blog you will see that exercise is mentioned over and over again. In my opinion, the benefits of exercise cannot be stated enough. Exercise can seem like such a daunting task, particularly when we feel like we are dealing with things on all levels.
When that workout seems impossible to start, remind yourself that you will feel better in the end. Eventually it will not be something you dread, but something that you look forward to.
3. Spend Time in Nature—or Bring It With You!
Being exposed to nature is helpful for managing anger. There is something soothing about being outside and letting the sun shine on your face while surrounded by grass, trees, and the natural world.
Imagine, you look up at the sky and breathe in the fresh air around you. As you take in your surroundings and soak up the outdoors, you begin to feel calm, maybe even relaxed. It’s not too hard to imagine how helpful this seemingly small task can really be.
The idea of spending the day in nature might feel intimidating. Remember, a hiking trail or walking path at your local park works just fine. Moreover, why not bring nature inside by having plants in your home!
4. Avoid Blaming Others
When you’re angry, it’s easy to blame others for your problems. But blame actually helps you become angrier. It adds fuel to the fire.
Blaming others justifies your feelings and gives you permission to feel angry at someone else. When blaming others you are unable to look at the scenario clearly and change is impossible. In relationships, blaming others only causes more harm. Ultimately, it doesn’t help with solving the real problems and issues that lie in front of you.
When you notice yourself blaming others it be helpful to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, to practice empathy. When a person is fueled with blame, their thoughts and feelings usually take a critical, unforgiving stance towards the other person.
5. Take a Break
Taking a break, or even a “time out” works just as well for adults as it does for children. And there is a reason why!
When you take a time out, you are pushing the pause button on the action. You separate yourself from what is happening and redirect your attention to yourself. This gives you the opportunity to calm down and regain control so that you can once again face the situation with a cool head.
6. Practice Mindful Breathing
Whenever you are taking a time out, practice a breathing technique to calm down. Deep, mindful breathing really does work with helping you to either calm down or to stay calm.
However, there is a trick to mindful breathing. You need to practice it when you are not angry!
Take 5 or 10 deep breaths (from your diaphragm). These breaths should be relaxed and controlled, slowly inhaling and exhaling.
Practice this throughout the day, when you are NOT feeling angry. This allows you to get used to the technique and feel comfortable using it. Without these practice sessions, it’s difficult to adequately use mindful breathing when you get angry.
7. Focus on What’s in Your Control
So often what causes anger are things that are outside of your control. As mentioned at the outset, so many of the issues we face are due to people feeling powerless.
Of course, you can’t solve the world’s problems. But you can focus on what’s in your control. In other words, maybe single-handedly solving injustice isn’t possible for you, but speaking out against that injustice is.
Check out the TED Talk “Anger is Your Ally: A Mindful Approach to Anger”
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There are many problems we face as a society these days that can make us angry. However, managing anger was an issue that many struggled to deal with before any of these current issues arose. Practicing the skills mentioned above can help you when feelings run high.
Yet, if you are still struggling with your anger, consider getting professional help from a therapist skilled in anger management. I invite you to contact me to find out what I can do for you.